dragon age inquisition playthrough but its just me doing all the weird and creepy side quests that contribute absolutely nothing to the plot but just make you go,, “huh,,” highlights include:
the haunted chateau where that noble family locked up their little mage girl and tried to hide her magic and things turned out Much Worse than in Frozen
escorting LORD WOOSLY,, a good and fluffy friend described as a “veRY SPECIAL ram,,”–demon. its actually a demon. you don’t know that unless you attack it but if you accidentally do, surprise!! demon,,
JUDGING A BEAR FOR HIS CRIMES??
Fun scavenger hunt where you find severed body parts that scream with the souls of the damned,,
hopping on a rock until you upset an otherwordly being and its disgruntled, disembodied voice tells you its Great Secrets. Following its instructions, you then crawl behind a tiny cave and recieve a flower crown
body scavenger hunt is in the Lost Temple of Dirathmen, do that quest where you find the Head of Misery, Ears of Unheeding, Hands of Torment, ect. It ends with you summoning an ancient elven priest. You can only access the temple after completing your Investigate the Elven Glyphs quest on the war table.
The flower crown one is a time lmao. The quest is called The Tiniest Cave. This is the kind of thing you seriously won’t know how to do unless you heard about it from somewhere or were just messing around and got it completely by accident, so here’s the thing:
Hit up the Exalted Plains. You’re gonna head East from the Direstone Camp and go behind some underbrush until you find THIS TINY CUTE LITTLE STACK OF ROCKS,, with little flowers around them.
I’m begging you to look up a walkthrough to find any and all landmarks to navigate this quest because you’re really given fuck all nothing to work with in game but,, YOU WILL KNOW THE TINIEST CAVE WHEN YOU SEE IT,, IT’S VERY CUTE,,
And you might be like,, ok Leo, I found the adorable rocks, now what? Well, you’re gonna do the one thing that makes sense of course–you’re gonna JUMP on this tiny little rock friend for 50+ times. Leo, you might say, isn’t that a bit excessive? No!!! Because you literally need to jump that many times this is not a joke pls believe me
But wait, you might think, isn’t that a bit rude? Absolutely!! Which is why jumping that many times is going to trigger the disembodied voice that lives there to be quite understably upset with you and start mumbling shit. You will then do the Spirit that Lives Under the Tiniest Rock House a courtesy and walk away for a bit. Let them get their bearings.
Walk back to the Rock Friend later and you’ll get different dialogue, “Need More!! More!! Have to be Ready,,” this will actually activate your quest, congrats!! the wiki rn is telling me that jumping on the rock some more while you get these new lines might help activate the quest. But like,, even if it doesn’t, do it anyway. it’s fun
What you’re going to do from there is gather 10x Crystal Grace and return to the Tiniest Cave. Your friendly disembodied Voice will then be pleased by the offering, and say, “The stairs, the STAIRS that go down, wAYYY DOWN,, way, way down!! I’ll be there. You’ll be there.”
At this point, you’ll get a notication your quest is complete. IGNORE THAT SHIT,, IT ISN’T REALLY,, you still need to collect your reward! Fun thing though, there’s gonna be no prompt or quest marker to follow, you are literally on your own. Again, pls watch walkthrough caus this gets so hard to follow at times
You’re gonna follow the advice of following the Stairs Way Down. And you might be like,, okay well, how far away could that be? Where would I have to go for that? Wherever you guessed, yOU’RE WRONG,, get fucked you’re going directly to Emprise du Lion I hope you like snow
Go down to Suledin Keep and look for something that looks like a Super Secret Passageway and shit
You’re gonna go through a long tunnel and stop at a Veilfire torch. Carry that bitch and go right through the section of fake wall on the left. Yeah,, it’s fake. You,, you wouldn’t know any of this if you didn’t follow a specific walkthrough or hear about it. Yeah,, this quest is just Like That,,
From there you’re going Way Down the Stairs and at the end,, tA DA!!! It’s a chest!!! wITH THE FLOWER CROWN!! As you open it, you’ll hear the Tiniest Cave Voice cheering you on, it’s kinda cute. “This is it!! ThiS IS IT!! Take it,, use it. I’m going, laughing all the way,,”
But Leo,, you might say,, is one stupid helm worth all this trouble?? Does it have good stats or something?? How did the Tiniest Cave Voice get all the fucking way to Emprise du Lion, who the fuck is that guy?? Why am I doing this?? And listen, listen!! It’s pRETTY,, it’s pretty and I make all my Inquisitors wear it in every playthrough and just,, everyone needs to have the Tiniest Cave experience okay,,
Also, here’s the description for this item:
“So I said to the fellow, ‘You want a what?’ And it turns out I heard him right the first time. A helmet of flowers, he said, with a vein of lyrium running through it to keep them flowers alive. I thought for sure this had to be some elven thing, something for frolicking in the woods, but no. It’s for a duel, he said. Bloody Orlesians. Dwarven pride demanded I make the damned thing effective, at least.”
People who say that Solavellans all want to “help Solas destroy the world” don’t understand the ship very well. And, frankly, their grasp of the lore is pretty weak too.
one thing to watch out for in a future Dragon Age game: Solas’ pawn.
you know, that pawn he uses in his chess game against bull. the apparently meaningless thing that no one sees as important, that people brush of as silly, etc. a seemingly unimportant thing happening somewhere, but at the end of the game we’ll be like “oh shit”
Wait, I remember reading a headcanon that the pawn represented the Inquisitor
This is the first in a fair few tutorials I’ll be doing concerning DA tarots and how I approach them. This is going to be a long post, with pictures and a lot of writing because I’m long winded. Most of this is going to be under the cut. (My deepest apologies to mobile users.)
Could you imagine if Lavellan just didn’t return to skyhold after Solas ends the relationship. Especially if she chooses for him to remove her vallaslin. She doesn’t want to deal with the embarrassment, or have to keep seeing him so when he says he will met you back at skyhold imagine if Lavellan gets on her horse(or mount of choice) and just abandons every thing.
And imagine everyone turning to look at Solas when she doesnt show up? lol
“What did you doooo????”
When he returned, he expected it to be difficult.
The glares. The whispers. The rumors, most of all. He expected they’d avoid him, shun him, blame him, for the change in Ani–Lavell–The Inquisitor, he chided himself. Using her name was too intimate, even in the privacy of his thoughts, and by ending it all he felt he gave up that right to use it.
The Inquisitor, he knew was a private woman, she wouldn’t share much, if anything, and only to a few people–if she even mentioned what transpired between them at all.
He waited until after sun down to return to Skyhold, hoping the commotion she caused upon her return would be settled, or as settled as it could get. What he did not expect, however, was an outraged Cassandra crashing through his bed chamber door not a moment after he set foot inside.
“What have you done?”
Cassandra’s fist was balled into the front of his tunic before he even had a chance to take off his cloak. His back hit the wall with an echoing thud.
“I beg your par–”
“She’s gone.”
He gripped her wrist and shoved her off. “I do not–”
“Don’t play coy. She’s left us,” Cassandra advanced on him, but he quickly side stepped the next grab, “What happened! What did you–”
“Cassandra, I am at a loss. Did–did she not return?”
His pulse accelerated, heart lashing out against his ribs as the implications sank in. His swiftly wrote it off as concern over the anchor, not her–a lie he would have to get used to telling himself.
Cassandra appraised him, anger flaring in her eyes. After a moment, she took a deep breath and stood down from her aggressive stance, but kept her fists balled at her sides.
“She did. Barely. All she said to me before she gathered a few things, took a mount, and bolted out of the gates was that she could no longer afford to be distracted from her duty, that she hoped I would understand and lead the Inquisition in her place, and not to follow her.”
He felt the blood drain from his face as any hope he had left plummeted into cold depths of his ancient soul.
Cassanrda’s lips pulled into a snarl as she regarded his expression. “Solas, what did you say to her?”
Ir Laimsa Ara Lath 